The Elusive Art of Memory Recall and Things You Can Do To Increase Your Memory

Are you finding your memory fading or becoming as useful as a can-opener at a 'Raw Food Convention'? Do you want to be able to recall things better like how to spel wurds? Are you the kind of person who has a selective memory that is becoming so selective you can only remember your own name during a solar eclipse?

Whatever the issues you might have when it comes to your memory, there is always something you can do to improve it, or so I was once told, if I could remember who said it. At any rate, continue on for some good tips on how to improve your memory and retain the information you need to...to do...something...I forget what, but it will come back to me by the next paragraph, I betcha!

In order to maintain a strong memory, be sure to remain active in a social context.

This works to keep you alert, because when you are alone you don't need to listen to what you are thinking the way you need to listen to what someone is saying when you are with another person.

Hence you need to be attentive in a social context and this improves your memory and keeps your spirits high, your hair in place and your underpants from riding up.

If you stay at home alone all the time, you brain will not be engaged and stimulated and might just take a vacation without leaving you a number where it can be contacted. Engaging in stimulating conversation with others will keep your mind occupied and increase your memory-glands, and as we all know, every woman wants to increase her 'memory-glands.'

If you need to be able to recall and remember something, try associating it with a humorous image. For example if I need to a-fix the password to my computer solidly in my head, I might link it to an image: say of Newt Gingrich wearing gold-lame high heels. Chances are I won't remember the password but I will certainly have a good laugh trying.

Science tells us we all have two kinds of memory: short-term and long-term. Short term is cheaper and you can buy it at Target and Wallmart, but long-term is only sold on TV and you need a credit card. If you wish to remember something special, try moving it from your short-term to you long-term memory, and then back again several times, while eating a pepperoni-stick and smiling at an Elm tree. This will stamp the fact so indelibly in your mind it will appear as a marque running across your forehead every time you think of it.

Have you ever tried to recall something and found it lying on the tip of your tongue? If so, you might try removing your tongue and washing it in a mild solution of vinegar and water. This will remove any memories which you can then place in a mason-jar for safe keeping.

Visualization techniques are a great tool to improve memory but only if you are good at making pictures in your head without the help of a slide-projector. If you are trying to memorize information such as lists or charts, try drawing the chart on a piece of paper, and then eat it with a Cesar Salad.

This works every time but remember to chew it well and then call me in the morning.