My Flying in Air Levitating Levitation Diary

Nov.1: my first levitation! True, it wasn't much of a levitation. My body lifted three feet off the bed and then slammed itself into the wall ten times before my head started twisting in a clockwise manner while my body twisted anti-clockwise and my legs did the splits and then detached themselves and walked down to the corner store and bought the Sunday New York Times.

Maybe tomorrow I will have something more interesting to report?

Nov 2: My body levitated itself over to the desk and my big toe stuck itself into the pencil sharpener. I needed a manicure anyway but now I have a toe-nail that I will have to register as a deadly weapon if I am to take it anywhere.

I then flew around the house a few times and my left hand unscrewed all the light-bulbs and replaced them with energy-efficient ones.

After that  my nose pryed-open the fridge and I followed it (naturally) while it shoved itself into the sour creme container and inhaled. I woke up an hour later on the floor with a bagel in my mouth trying to sing Tevia's song from Fiddler on the Roof.

Nov 3: I was lying on the grass at an outdoor concert-in-the-park and dozed off, while my body suddenly took it upon itself to levitate up on stage and stroll around, hands behind back, 'critiquing' the musicians, grabbing up instruments and playing them to show 'the right way' to play it, and generally making a nuisance of itself.

Then it levitated itself up a tree and stole a squirrel's nuts. This got under the skin of the animal-lovers at the concert and they started throwing pebbles at ME, because they deduced it was MY body levitating, and causing all the problems, and they chased me from the park shouting 'and take your floating body with you!'

When I got home I waited patiently for my levitating lunatic to return as well, so that I could give him a complete going-over with a long speech and plenty of threats. But he never returned.

To this day I have no idea where he is or what he is up to.

However I have read recent accounts of a transparent person who flies around Madrid taunting the bulls until they charge the locals and make a mess--mainly in china shops.

If I am lucky he will never come back. I do much better without levitation in my life.

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