Precise Recipe for How to Cook a Three-Minute Egg

77

By Woody Marx

How to Cook a 3-minute Egg and Live to Tell the Tale

Boiling an egg is childishly simple--which makes it very difficult for an adult.



I have boiled many a 3-minute egg in my life and usually to great success and a round of applause from onlookers. However, there is more to this practical activity than you might imagine, and I'm sure you are dying to know all about it. I know I'm not.

The first egg was invented in 1877 by a Scotsman (and as we all know, the Scots have a nasty habit of going around inventing things left and right without asking any one's permission.)


His name was Samuel McIntyre and he made the discovery by sheer accident one day while trying to invent something else, I don't know (or care) what, and ended up with an egg, which he originally called "an eggg" but found the extra g superfluous, and being a Scot, he was economical with his money and his consonants.



At any rate, the first egg caught on and before long McIntyre was able to set up a large industrial complex, which to this day, turns out all the eggs you see everywhere in the world, on every grocery shelf, in every egg-carton and under every chicken.

Egg Composition

Eggs are made of a two substances, perfectly blended in such a manner as to create an atomic blend of isotopes,calliopes and cantaloupes. The two substances that create this mix are a big secret and nobody knows what trouble I've seen trying to obtain that secret for you my readers. So this mix  is then poured into 'molds' which are 'egg-shaped molds' hence the term 'egg-shaped'.

 

The Hard boiled or Soft Boiled Controversy

It may come as a suprise to you egg-heads (the old-school terminology for a 'geek') that this recipe of mine produces an egg that defies categorization.


That is to say, is it hard boiled--is this 3-minute egg as cooked according to my directions--a hard or, god help us, a soft boiled egg?

How can we know for sure what category it fits into? Well the only way to be certain is to open the egg, and look at the results. Now, it goes without saying that once an egg is open, it cannot be sealed up again. Try it and see. I have tried it and have never suceeded. It reminds me of the old cliche--you can't put the Genii back in the bottle (well not unless you want to slice him up and...let's not get into that unsavory speculation)... but at any rate, this clich holds equally for opened eggs. It is a principle of physics, Bertrand Russel formulated in his book: "Equilateral Triangles Don't Come Out of Egg Cups" where he says:

"1. All eggs are crackable.

2. Some eggs are hard-boiled

3. Hence, all eggs are not elephants." As you can see,, Russell knew nothing about either eggs or elephants, but he did know how to work his sister's Easy Bake Oven, or so I am told.

So much for the controversy of boiling hard boiled eggs, or boiling eggs or whatever it is we are discussing--I know it is something along those lines--and get back to the main topic--What is an Egg Timer?


How to Cook the 3-Minute Egg

Well we have finally come full-circle, or full oval if you prefer, back to the question I posed in my characteristic fashion: "how to cook a 3-Minute Egg".

You will need:

-one egg
-one pot
-one stove
-water
-an egg timer

Directions:

Place the egg in the pot with enough water to cover it completly. This can be tricky because the egg rolls around and you never know for sure where the highest part of it is. So try your best.

Put pot on stove and turn on heat to medium/high.

Leave for an indefinite amount of time, or until the water starts boiling.

Don't forget about it. Once the egg boils, you set your timer for 5-minutes.

This is the secret of the 3-minute egg. You must cook it for 5 minutes after it starts boiling.

You now know what I know and that's not saying much, but at least you how to cook a 3-minute egg.

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Comments

Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet Level 5 Commenter 21 months ago

Aha, now we know! Thank you for taking the chicken out of the age old dilemma about which came first! :)

Sounds like Samuel McIntyre was a good egg!! Why wasn't he feted and felicitated by a grateful world?

SteveoMc profile image

SteveoMc 21 months ago

I always wanted to know which came first......you might have known that it was a dang scot. Hahaha. Oh, I love the fact that a three minute egg takes 5 minutes. LOL Oh, and to be sure, you never know if there is enough water for sure. Thanks, fun read.

Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx Hub Author 21 months ago

Feline: Good point...Samuel, while being a great inventor, was not a practical man at heart, and forgot to take out a patent on his invention, so the world never knew about him, until I dug him up (in some old tomes) and revealed the truth.

Steveo: Yes,those dang Scots...going around inventing everything...why don't they let someone else have a crack at being brilliant?....;)

Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee Level 3 Commenter 21 months ago

You never stop to amaze me Sir Marx, what know-how, what awesome knowledge. Wow and so willing to share with us non-knowers.

Loved it

regards Zsuzsy

MPG Narratives profile image

MPG Narratives Level 4 Commenter 21 months ago

5 minutes? So that's where I go wrong. Thanks for clearing that one up. Come to think of it, its breakfast time right now so I'll go and have a 5 min egg. Oh and thanks to the Scots too.

Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx Hub Author 21 months ago

Zsuz: Sometimes I even astound myself. How do I do it? ;) Thanks for thumbs-up.

MPG: Now that you know the secret I hope you will enjoy many eggs to come and your children and your children's children. It feels nice to know I am helping out future-generations. :)

B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 21 months ago

Water and a pot? That's where I've been going wrong! I've been dropping them in the deep fryer for 3 minutes. I'll have to go try out this new recipe right away!

Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx Hub Author 21 months ago

B.T.Stephen Hawking said the same thing when I told him about the recipe! :)

habee profile image

habee Level 7 Commenter 21 months ago

Ah, I see we both enjoy science! I wonder if the inventor of grits was Scottish? Prolly so. Many Southerners are of Scottish heritage.

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